the story

title
size
materials
painting description

Have you ever had a feeling that you don’t belong where you are at the moment?

“Missing piece”
46*36
acrylic, ink liner

Sadly, our thoughts sometimes are our worst enemies.

“Lost”
70*50
acrylic, ink liner

I was always eager to travel and learn new things. The excitement of moving to Germany lasted for a year or so, then the feeling of emptiness came. I started to feel more foreign here than ever.

“Ausland”
70*30
acrylic, ink liner

I never understood why most of the Russian artists, poets and writers always got back to the topic of Motherland in their mostly forced immigration.
Now I do.

“Into the depths”
70*30
acrylic, modeling paste, fineliner

I was not really homesick. Everything just felt wrong and I wanted things to go back to normal. What is normal? How it used to be in my country? In my home?

“Escape”
70*50
acrylic, ink liner,
dry pastel

Even though I’ve been learning German, for 3 years all the talks around me were just a noise. I felt so lonely. I hear about the language barrier, but I never thought that when speaking English, I could ever have this problem. But I did have it. So never underestimate the power of language.

“Language”
A4
fineliner

Did I even feel on my plate living in my hometown living with 7 people in one flat? Did I feel home by changing dormitories and flats while studying and trying to get things together? Did I feel at home with my friends from Moscow that I’m not in touch anymore with

“No place”
A5
fineliner

Once in a while I find a place where I feel safe. Every time this moment flies away very soon.
It happened to me in Turkey:
We were visiting a friend, and his parents' home felt so safe to me. 5 days past very fast, the loneliness came back and this zine, inspired by the experience, was born.

Zine “Memoirs”
A5
fineliner

read more about it
& download an e-version
here

buy a printed version on the cashier of the exhibition

As it said in the zine: “…and now I'm in a new search again“ seeking where my safe place is.

a sketch from the zine
A5
fineliner